What annoys a judge?

Why "By the Way" Sets Judges Off

Walk into any courtroom and you'll quickly learn that timing and respect for procedure matter—deeply. One small phrase, seemingly harmless in casual conversation, can set a judge’s teeth on edge: “by the way.”

Judges are trained to dissect arguments with precision, weighing facts presented in an orderly, deliberate fashion. When an attorney drops a key point with a casual “by the way,” it feels less like contribution and more like an afterthought smuggled in at the last second. It’s the legal equivalent of whispering a secret during roll call—obvious, distracting, and deeply frustrating.

This isn’t just about etiquette. It’s about credibility. When lawyers use “by the way,” they risk implying they didn’t think the point important enough to prepare or integrate properly. Worse, it can seem like a tactic—tossing in a detail in hopes it slips under the radar, without proper argument or evidence to back it up. Judges, who rely on clarity and structure, don’t respond well to ambushes disguised as offhand remarks.

Seasoned litigators know that every word in a courtroom should be intentional. There’s no room for improvisation dressed as spontaneity. A strong argument is built brick by brick, not dangled at the end as an aside. As one veteran judge once put it: “If it’s important enough to mention, it’s important enough to present properly.”

So the next time you're in court—or even just watching a trial unfold on screen—listen closely. That little phrase might seem minor, but in the world of gavels and legal precision, it can signal a deeper disregard for the process. And that’s something no judge is likely to overlook.